Monday, April 23, 2012


It has now been 365 Days of trying to conceive... what is the significance of this?  According to medical experts, my husband and I can now officially be diagnosed as infertile.  We have been trying for an entire year to conceive a child by having frequent, unprotected sex and have been unsuccessful in our endevours.

How does this make me feel? Raw Emotions: Ashamed, Inadequate, a Failure, Sad, Confused, Angry, Anxious, Stressed, Unwomanly, Scared, Fearful, Numb, Jealous, Insecure, Resentful, Desperate, Unstable.  It has been nothing shy of an Emotional Roller Coaster!

 It's disheartening to read the statistics saying that 60% of couples conceive within the first 6 months of trying, and 75% within the first 9 months.  Finally, 90% of couples conceive within 12 months of trying... Okay, so my husband and I are unique.  We require assistance from a specialist and my first appointment is tomorrow.  This doesn't make the emotions go away.  These raw emotions started developing after about 4-5 months of trying to conceive and have magnified in intensity over the last 7-8 months. 

I'm sharing my journey and this blog with you all in hopes of turning a negative situation into one that is positive and helpful for others who might be going through a similar situation... or know someone going through this struggle so they may be of assistance in their healing and transformation.  I will come out of this situation STRONGER, BOLDER, HEALTHIER and ready to help others!

I want others to know it is OK to have these raw emotions, but instead of allowing them to swallow you up in self pity... use them as your ammunition, your ignition, your motivator to create change.  The change is within yourself to take this experience and learn from it.  Learn to appreciate challenges and how they help you find a better appreciation for yourself and others.  Learn to take this time to become introspective and develop your strengths and identity.  My journey is to NOT TAKE ON THE IDENTITY OF BEING AN INFERTILE WOMAN INCAPABLE OF CONCEPTION.  Like any human being, I have my good days and my bad days.  I welcome your input, encouragement, advice, constructive criticism, and wisdom.  My appreciation for life has grown tremendously and I'm enthusiastic about sharing this with others!  I'm hoping the appointment with the Fertility Specialist tomorrow goes well...

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