Don't Ask!

I was asked yesterday if I'm pregnant... not because I have a little bump in my belly, but because this particular person knew we were trying to conceive a child.  If there's one question right now I can't stand to be asked, well, it's that one!    

 Are you pregnant?  

Oh it sends chills down my spine!  Every time, I feel the little lump in the back of my throat form while fighting off the reddened glassy eyes about the shed a tear and politely reply, "No, I'm not."  What I really want to say is "GOD DAMN IT, DID YOU REALLY JUST HAVE TO ASK ME THAT?  DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M F'ING PREGNANT?  IF I WERE, TRUST ME, I'D BE ANNOUNCING IT TO THE DAMN WORLD!  OF COURSE YOU'D KNOW BY NOW, SO PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T ASK ME THAT AGAIN!"  Luckily, I'm quite a polite person and would never say such a thing!  I know, it's not their fault and they have no idea the anxiety, angst, frustration, and disappointment I go through over and over each month.

The hardest part continues to be the lack of control I feel I have over my body!  The unknown...

On a side note... I feel my period coming on.  Please say a little prayer for me that it's not true!  And if it is true... I'll say a little prayer to continue to give me the strength to deal with this journey, the courage to share it with others, and the power to stay positive about the future!